Kinship and Life in its grand scheme of things

I lost a close kin recently..
My beloved Grandfather,the late Mr NEO BOON CHUAN, after more than 1 year of battling with pulmonary fibrosis, gave in and rested eternally on 10th Oct 2007.

It was a sunny and warm morning that morning.
He was already on Dormicium which was supposed to bring him to a unconscious state so that his pain would be lessened. Seemed like this was the drug to use so that the old man's light would gently dim and go out...

Flashback to 2 months ago, Grandad was in the same hospital, his complaints of breathlessness had the family worried enough to call for an ambulance. His usual doctor told us that it was more serious this time as his lungs had degraded to only 30% functionality. Grandad's lungs was slowing dying, cells not regenerating and just 3 months back, it was still 60%. Doctor Chan informed us that Grandad had less than 6 months to live.

Just slightly a year before 10 Oct 2007, Grandad was already on Oxygen mask, even at home. It was a bad bout of flu and lung infection he had caught while touring in China with his daughters and grandchildren. The oxygen tubes going into his nose meant it was difficult for him to move around. Even during those days, he made effort to come out into the living room to play Mahjong with us during weekends.

Grandma would later tell us everytime he came out to join us for Mahjong sessions, the same night, he'd have respiratory problems due to overexertion. That always broke our heart when we heard that.

During the last 2 months of his life, he didn't leave his room at all. The only place he was able to go was the attached bathroom in his room. Grandma, the maid and his daughters gave him the best care in the world. Us, his grandchildren came regularly even during weekdays to spend time and sometimes talk to him. However, during the last month, we hardly heard any words from him. My last memory of him during one of my afternoon visits was him calling my childhood name "Pang Kin" in his usual loud and low strong voice. That really made me so glad he still sounded so strong. But since then, it was mere sign language as he was too out of breath to talk.

The night at the hospital before the Dormicium was injected, I sneaked out of home and drove to the hospital at 2am. Saw him and all the medical equipment around him. The maid was by his side. He was able to mumble some Bahasa Melaya to the maid asking her if she is hungry or tired. Afterwhich, those few words made him so out of breath, that he was only able to use sign language to ask me to go home and rest. He also gave me the thumbs up sign to tell me that everything was ok.

The night the Dormicium was used, me and my sister Dominique and my brother-in-law, Sam was at the hospital almost throughout the night. Even in his uncounscious state, I could see Grandad struggling for each and every breath. And every breath he took, it seemed his last. It was at this time when I realised his light was dimming and it was anytime that the light will just go out. All the respiratory sensors showed a low heartrate and blood pressure. His hands were cold and clammy.

We went home at about 4am. Last I saw, his breathing though struggling, seemed more constant then and it seemed like he was actually sleeping.

At 7.30am, just as I woke up to get ready for work, I got the fateful call from my 3rd Aunt Alice. In her tearful voice, she told me to inform my dad that my Grandad had passed on and to tell him to go to the hospital immediately.

In my heart, I was deeply saddened. This man, the pillar of our extended family, had passed on. When I reached the hospital, I saw him in his inanimated state.
He no longer looked sick and feeble. He is no longer struggling to get his breath.
On one hand, I felt relieved for him as he is no longer suffering. Yet on the other hand, I felt this immense pain of losing him forever.

The days that followed were filled with things to do, traditions to follow and customs to practice. The wake, the prayers, the friends and relatives coming to pay respects, there were hardly any time to grief. And I am thankful for that. During the day of the funeral when Grandad's body had to be cremated, it was a hard moment for all. Tears and emotions choking in the throat and yet unable to shout or moan, because it will surely affect the others. It was in this light that I realised, the departed no longer feel any emotions. It is the living that have ties that cannot be separated by death.

After the cremation, the whole family returned to the place of the wake for lunch at the void deck. It was a funny thing, the moment we alighted from the bus after we reached, it started to pour heavily. It was as if He wanted us to sit close together for lunch as rain was pouring in the void deck from the sides. Though in different tables, we all huddled closer to each other and savoured the lunch.

In the last 2 months of Grandad's lifetime, we, his children and his children's children were able to make best of the remaining time and gave him the utmost care and attention. I am thankful we were given the chance to do that.

We miss you.... Ah Kong....

Grandad on one of the Mahjong games



Grandad on his birthday with Greatgrandaughters Isabel and Leanne



Today is 17 Oct 2007
Time is 10:35 hrs

Death takes away only one,
The rest have to keep living.

Fiji [Continued]

So no thanks to the check-in counter staff of Singapore Changi Airport, I was in and out of the arrival gate twice as I had to run back from Departure Hall of Nadi airport to the Arrival Hall which was a 300m dash. All this within 30 minutes as the plane headed to Suva takes off in less than half an hour after I land in Nadi.

In any case, I got to know more about Fiji in Suva.

Most prominent sport : Rubgy
Indian and Chinese population are aplenty in Fiji and some are already 4 to 5th generation immigrants already.
Locals native males have curly hair, of which they like to stick pens into their hair and keep it there [ in case when pockets are full ]
Fijians speak English as one of their main languages as they were once a colony of Britain. Even for now, their currency still flys the union jack.
Indian food is fantastic in Fiji.

I manage to meet the famous Rugby player in Fiji, Wasales Serevi. It was quite an honour to meet the sporting legend and he is very friendly too! He'd walk across the street to shake a fan's hand if the fan had called out for him!

Fijians are friendly and just like Singapore, they are multi-racial and even in the midst of a military coup, there wasn't any racial incited riots or chaos though the coup was racial in nature..

Thank you Fiji...
Vinaka !

Tales from Fiji

My career had me taken off again, this time to Fiji in the Pacific Islands.
Travel time was more than 20 hours, all thanks to a 6 hour transit time in Sydney Australia. Not wanting to spend time snoozing at the airport, I headed to Sydney city aka Circular Quays to take some photos of the famous Sydney Opera house and the equally majestic Sydney Harbour Bridge.

within the 6 hours, I had also managed to visit the Sydney aquarium by taking the ferry to Darling Harbour. Sharks, seals, starfish, corals, clownfish, etc etc.

After my 6 hour fiesta with Sydney, went on my 2nd flight to Nadi, Fiji. Fiji's famous location for tourists seeking sun, sand and sea. Unfortunately, my time in Nadi was only for less than 30mins of night before I had to take my propellor plane to Suva. Almost lost my lugguage in Nadi as I exited without collecting lugguage from the plane that landed in Nadi..[ Changi Aiport check-in attendant actually told me that my lugguage will go all the way , yeah right]

Back to the propellor plane.... [ tbc ]

Taiwan : My Trip

Republic of China and yet not so China..

Apparently, a place where this political figure ran to when he lost out to the incumbent in the "real" China and in this place, Taiwan, he called it the Republic of China as it wasn't the Communist China..

So, when Chiang Kai Shek went there, along with him was supporters, scholars, farmers. businessmen etc... They brought along with them the real "Culture" of China which fortunately survived the "Cultural Evolution" in China where religion and superstition were abolished..

Luckily most of the Chinese culture were still preserved in Taiwan.

Taiwan, being between 2 tectonic plates, has lots of earthquakes.. In fact, it was formed because of these earthquakes. Molten Magma coming out of the cracks between the 2 plates formed this island. And with the fertile land, Taiwan has the perfect soil for agriculture. It's abundance of fruits has its people enjoying fruity delicacies such as their mango ice desserts amongst others. With the fertile soil, some farm produce even evolved to be different from those grown in other parts of the world. The bittergourd for one, is white in Taiwan. And mangoes grown in Taiwan have a reddish exterior.

Being between the 2 plates, Taiwan has also many real natural hot water springs.
These springs were exploited to be spas. Bath-houses for the people. It's popularity probably also gained during its 50 years rule by Japan, whom were also spa lovers.
Even till now, Japanese living in Taipei, prefer to live near areas which have an abundance of such spas.

As Taiwan is an island, multiple coastal treasures can be found along their shores.
These "treasures" are cliffs and coastal rocks carved by the natural forces of the environment, namely, wind and water. These rocks have been shaped by the environment to resemble icons like the Queen's head. Some look like shoes and with some creative imagination, resemble almost anything. The country is trying to preserve these monumental cliffs and rocks but unless they house it or build a brick wall around it, there's no stopping Mother Nature.

In Taipei, there's no short of old streets with shops peddling the local delights.
Amongst them, there are also the aborgines peddling their produce and wares. Taiwan was not originally a Chinese country. As mentioned above, it was a place where the Chinese escaped to. The original people living on the island were tribal in nature. Until today, about 12-13 tribes survived the times and are still around. Their produce includes wild honey, tribal wooden wares and also rare mushrooms aka "LingZhi" which is a very popular herb used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for treating diseases such as cancer.

Back to the old streets of shops, it's hard not to notice the whiff of peculiar stench in the air. It is almost symbian in every such street. Apparently not due to bad sewarage but because Taiwanese have a passion for this particular food they call the "Smelly Toufu". The Toufu or beancurd is allowed to ferment in a vat before they are fried to a crispy exterior. The extreme heat from the oil fries the exterior beancurd skin but at the same time, the fermented toufu gives off its "fragrance". It almost smells like being in a farm where the animals defecate all at the same time. Perhaps that's the best description of the "fragrance"

Taiwan, besides its mentioned charms, is also a high technologically advanced country. In less than 100 years after urbanization, Taiwan is now one of the most advanced nation in Asia. Several PC components brands have their humble beginnings in Taiwan before being listed in NASDAQ.

It's teen culture mimicks that of Japan, with fashion that is loud and shortlived fads that have masses of followers. Some of the older generations still speaks Japanese due to its 50 year rule by Japan previously. Japanese food is also very popular in Taiwan and still made with a certain level of authenticity.

In its short history, it's had the Dutch colonial rule, the Chinese overthrowing the Dutch, the Japanese ruling it for 50 years and now with its current democratic government led by its first President, Chiang Kai Shek, Taiwan has come of age.

Taiwan.
It is a colorful place to make port and for some, even to sink their roots and start a new life. To soak into another culture, to make new friends, to shop, to pray and to enjoy..


Today is 20th May 2007
Back from Taiwan for 3 days.
Can't wait to be back there again!

My new nickname

My alter ego...


I shall name her


IVANA VARKEEL